Sometimes truth is stranger than...shit

What history can began without recounting the first seconds of the universe we are all a part of? With that said, here is a very short history of the how the universe began...
In what has come to be called The Giant Space Kablooie, all the matter in the universe today started out as a compact, subatomic, spec that could not be contained. It exploded and all that matter has been expanding outward ever since that day 15 billion years ago. As the various forms of matter collided, they formed protons, neutrons, and electrons. These then combined to form the elements. The most popular formation being the hydrogen atom. Heavier elements formed though and these elements collided and coalesced under gravity eventually forming planets, while huge gas clouds of mostly the aforementioned hydrogen compacted, heated up, and formed stars. Galaxies, huge gatherings of stars formed, and within them solar systems. The most important of these solar systems being one that centralized around a unary star system, whose central celestial body was an average size star that would in turn have the longest lifespan and most even amount of dispensed radiation, making it an ideal star for life (at a reasonable distance of 93 million miles or so) to begin and thrive.
About a billion or so years into this star's lifetime, the conditions on its third orbiting planet were just right for life to rise out of the primodial soup. Life evolved, life died away and was reborn again, and after 4 billion years of this evolution the peak of human civilization (the most advanced form of life on the rock that had come to be called Earth) emerged in the form of three young men from the suburbs of New York City (which had grown to be the center of the planet).




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